The whole month has been quite the same as before, but a few unexpected things have happened.
I have still been rehabbing my ankle and it seems to be going the right way with it, even though I have been occasionally struggling mentally with it. As I wrote in my previous post, the mental part is one of the toughest parts in rehab. I have been meditating for myself, but I finally went to my first yoga class also. It was very relaxing and after overthinking so much with my rehab, I really needed it.
Mamma and Ackeboy were also here for 9 days to spend some time with me, but at the end of the month we all traveled back to the mainland where I could spend some time at home and visit my friends and family.
In summary, this month has been both good, but also a little bit more demanding. I know that I have to trust the process with rehab and not to think negatively about it, because then I only stress myself and it doesn’t help in my rehab. Also what has been appalling not only Europe, but also the whole world is when Russia attacked Ukraine. I have talked with my friends about it and many are worried how far it can evolve.
Slowly, but surely forward
After I got my diagnosis I started to unload my ankle and avoid standing too much on it, and not to do exercises with weights where I stand. I started to do specific strengthening exercises for my ankle and maintain my condition with biking or aqua jogging. I have been implementing my strength training by trying to modify the exercises, so I can keep my ankle unloaded (for example kneeling or keeping the leg in the air). I have been planning my exercises, but then I got a feeling that I would like to have someone who plans them for me. It can be stressful to think all the time what is right to do and what is not too much, so I just got a feeling that I want someone who does that for me.
I got our national team strength and conditioning coach involved in my rehab and he is now taking care of the conditioning part. What I feel secure and happy about, because now I can be sure that I’m doing the right things. I mean, the things that I have done before have been good, but I want someone to take care of that part now. Now I also have some different things to do and it brings versatility to my program. I am kind of very motivated, because when I trust my process I can be very excited for my comeback and I don’t need to be unsure and stressed if I am in good shape for playing again. Of course it takes some time to be in shape for playing 90 minutes again, but I know it will come back when I just believe in me and my rehab.
Around the end of the month, I got exercises where I was standing only on one leg. I wasn’t able to do the rehab exercises so I got a mental breakdown in the gym. It wasn’t because I felt a lot of pain, but it didn’t feel good to do them yet. Somehow i felt that it won’t heal and I won’t play in this season. Also I wished that I could have called dad at that moment. I wanted to hear his encouraging words, that everything is going to be good with the rehab and I do not need to worry. Maybe that’s the main reason I cried. After that I had a hard time for a few days and just felt bad. But I knew what he would have said at that moment, so I just tried to think what he had said to me before and how he would be thinking about the current situation. It cheered me up and I could also feel him around.
Something not to forget, is that the national team had at the same time a tournament in France and it could have been a great opportunity to get announced to. But opportunities will come and I just have to take the chances when they come in the future!
Exciting things ahead!
One of the good parts in February is the news that the puppies will be born in the beginning of March. Mum has been in contact with the breeder, so I also called her after the puppies had been born. The breeder is really interested in dog conformation and the dogs had got some decent results from it. Of course she then asked me if I have any interest in it. I told her that if the dog gets results from the dog conformation and loves it, so absolutely yes. But I have been also thinking of other options like agility and dog dance. She sounded quite pleased with my answers and we will go and meet them at the end of March. Can’t wait to get my Toivo!
We were supposed to go with one of my best friends, Annica to Munich in December, but because of Corona we had to postpone the trip to some better time. We booked the trip at the end of June, but it can be that we have to change it again, because if I get a call up to the Euros, I can’t go. But we have decided to go there, so maybe at some point we will get the chance to go there if it won’t be in the summer. Somehow I have felt that I want to travel. It’s weird, because our family has never been really interested in traveling. I like to be at home and see friends if I have some free week from training. Before I was thinking, that it would be so hectic if I would go and travel, because there is so much to see and do in a short time. But now, I would like to go and do things, and especially together with my friends.
When I was home for a few days in Espoo, I met my friend Paula. We went for an inspirational walk, where we went through our thoughts and ideas about what we would like to do in the future. We talked about studying and what could be good for me to study. It feels like there’s so much I would like to know and do. I like to help people and I think I am good at doing it and also make them feel good. Paula was suggesting developmental psychology and it sounded interesting, but I am still thinking about it and keeping it open. I must not go study now, because I am spending so much time on football and I will get Toivo soon. But I will definitely go and study something in the future.
Peace prayers to Ukraine
The war in Ukraine has caused a lot of thoughts and anxiety all around the world. The whole world has been reacting exceptionally fast and have been trying to support Ukraine in many different ways. People have been donating to charities and have even been traveling all the way to the border to help those who have escaped the war. I donated to the red cross. After all fake news and propaganda, people have been sharing on social media what is really happening in Ukraine to neglect all the propaganda. I have been following the news and listened to the radio about the situation, so I have some knowledge of what is happening, but of course I don’t know everything. I have been limiting the information, because it can be at some point too much and anxious to read. It has also been recommended for everyone.
For us Finns it’s really scary, that our neighboring country has attacked and started a war. There has been a lot of discussion of the scenario of what would happen if Russia attacks Finland and should we join NATO or not. On the same morning when Russia had started their invasion of Ukraine, Putin published a video where he had declared a state of war.
His message to all western states with a warning to not interrupt his intentions:
“If someone outside is considering intervening: if you do, you will face consequences that are bigger than ever in history. All relevant decisions have already been made. I hope you hear me.
Whatever that even means, it’s really awakening fear in all of us. But I believe that our government will deal with this and find a solution to avoid the war starting here in Finland. Finland also has some good contacts with other countries, so we could get some help from them too. Even though Finland doesn’t have the membership for NATO, it has had a great relationship with them for a while already. But no one wants this except Putin, and we have to remember that even if Putin has his supporters, there are still people in Russia who stand against the war even if they will face consequences because of it. A war is never a right thing and we should all together try to do our best to find a solution to stop it. Even if we might feel and think that we can’t do much to this situation, the impact is big if we stick up together against it!
